Lost in Translation

"Solitude is often maligned in our culture. It is taken as a sign of weakness, and confused with loneliness. Yet those who accept solitude as an opportunity for spiritual growth and inner healing experience it as a great blessing. Why do we run from solitude? Why do we hate to be alone with ourselves? Because in solitude, our fears, insecurities, brokenness, hatred, and inner violence easily reveal themselves. Solitude can be terrifying at first. It reminds us of the deep loneliness we carry. But if we want real peace, we have to face our inner demons and transform our loneliness into love. Solitude is essential for this inner transformation. As we learn to sit in solitude and silence and turn down the noise of our mind, we create a sacred space for God to move within us. Paradoxically, if we seek out that lonely place within, as Jesus advises, we realize that we are not alone." -- John Dear

I've read these beautiful words seven or eight times now and simply cannot escape the frightening realization that the discipline of contemplative solitude has been all but lost in our Ameri-Christian culture.

I am constantly doing...stuff. Why? Because I have a unhealthy desire to avoid the possibility of waking up one morning and discovering the fact that I am lonely. I am afraid of truly facing my deepest fears (I guess you call that "fearophobia"?). Fears of rejection, fears of inadequacy, fears of abandonment. By remaining occupied, I feel more useful...more worthwhile. I run myself completely dry in pursuit of fleeting fulfillment and incomplete joy. What is it about the human condition that makes it so awkward, so difficult, so incongruous to be alone? The continual occupation of our minds with mundane activity cripples our ability to explore thoughtful introspection. Yet, when I consistently engage God in active prayer taking time to explore the caverns of my heart and letting God explore the depths of my soul, I emerge refreshed, cleansed, and thankful for God's mercy and grace.

"When we enter into solitude to be with God alone, we quickly discover how dependent we are. Without the many distractions of our daily lives, we feel anxious and tense. When nobody speaks to us, calls on us, or needs our help, we start feeling like nobodies. Then we begin wondering whether we are useful, valuable, and significant. Our tendency is to leave this fearful solitude quickly and get busy again to reassure ourselves that we are 'somebodies.' But that is a temptation, because what makes us somebodies is not other people's responses to us but God's eternal love for us." -- Henri Nouwen

To claim the truth of ourselves we have to cling to our God in solitude as to the One who makes us who we are.

--Brimas